Quirky Quotes

Ok so it's been a while and I haven't been able to come up with anything good, so I decided to do some quotes that make me smile. :) Enjoy!

"Of all the animals, the boy is the most troublesome and the most facinating" -Apricot Plum

"Secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you share with everyone!" -Lynn Adair

"Celebrate that happiness that friends are always giving. Make every day a holiday and celebrate just living!" -Amanda Bradley

"The only thing worse than a liar, is a bad liar" -Lucy Liu

"Just because your family loves you doesn't mean they understand you." -Francesca Shrapnel

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye." -Miss Piggy

"I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch." -Gilda Radner

"Some people don't think that women in the military can kill if the get into a fight. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'" -Elayne Boosler

"I make the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world. Well, I don't make them a lot because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies." -Pheobe from Friends

"No wonder Sleeping Beauty looked good... she took long naps, never got old, and didn't have to do anything but snore to get her Prince Charming." -Olive Green

"I can keep secrets. It's the girls I tell them to who can't keep a secret at all" -Brooke Vermillion

"Dogs come when they're called. Cats take a message and get back to you later." -Mary Bly

I got all of those quotes from the book, The Big Book of Girl Stuff by Bart King and his five sisters

Friends :)

I have a ton of friends and I call them all "my friends." Well, I was thinking about that simple phrase and something occurred to me. I call them "my friends" so they belong to me, hence the term "my friends." You are probably wondering where I'm going with this. Well my friends you are just like the term my socks or my ice cream. So now whenever I call you "my friends", remember that you are just as important as my socks. :)

6 Truths About Life

My sister sent me another email from one of her friends. This one is pretty funny!

1. You cannot stick your tongue out and look up at the ceiling at the same time, a physical impossibility due to the tendons within your neck.

2. All idiots, after reading #1 will try it.

3. And discover #1 is a lie.

4. You are now laughing because you are an idiot.

5. You will soon post on Facebook about what an idiot you are and then you will tell all your friends about this blog. (I had to change this step because it said to forward this email... but this is a blog not an email.)

6. There is still a stupid smile on your face. :)

Hope you liked that one! I did this... Sometimes I wonder if I have a new disease... One that I'm smart but stupid too...

9 Things I Hate About People

My sister forwarded me this funny email from one of her friends. Hope you like!

1. When people who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". You got that right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say, "It's always the last place you look". Of course it is, why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?
5. When people say while watching a film, "did you see that?". No loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the stupid floor.
6. People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a chance there, did ya sunshine?
7. When something is "new and improved". Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8. When people say, "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do that's longer?
9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, smart one, would I still be standing here?

Hey Guys!

Hey guys.. Sorry I haven't posted in a while... I just haven't gotten to it. Well, to catch you up; school has started (how many more days until summer?), babysat mostly every day (couldn't wait until school... now; not so much...), and spent time in Cali! Summer was great, but now school's ruined it.
Have you guys checked out my mom's website? If not, here is the link: isthisreallymylife.com

Please check it out! I will be writing more stuff in the days to come, so tell your friends!!!

Dinner Fun

A few days ago for dinner we had Little Ceasers Pizza when my mom was talking to my little sister, Olivia, who wouldn't eat a fruit or vegetable. She said: "Olivia, you need to either have orange slices, apple sauce, or carrots. You haven't had a fruit or veggie at all today." My Olivia looks at my mom while holding her breadstick, then looks down at her plate and says -pointing at her breadstick-, "Mom, I already have a fruit or vegetable!"

Tripping 101

Well today in CTE (Career and Technical Education) a boy who shall not be named tripped me. I was so mad! Plus it was in front of the guy I kinda like. Man I wish I wasn't so clumsy...

Here are some tips on the whole tripping subject:

1. Always watch where you are walking down and UP the stairs so you won't have to be on crutches for a whole day and rent an elevator key... Not that I did that or anything... Plus if you need some cover say the following : "Have I stopped bouncing yet?" "I'm a professional stuntwoman, don't try this at home." " Well, that was graceful" "I can teach you how to do that if you want." and "Who are you? I think I have amnesia. Guess I can't take the history test."

2. Watch for stupid people (boys in particular) who "happened" to stick their leg out.

3. If you ever fall on a flat surface, say "I was testing gravity, and by the way, it works."

Stupid Cell Phones

You know what I hate about cell phones? Well, not on all cell phones, but my mom's phone and the house phone never show that I call. Like today for instance, I was after school practicing my cello with my teacher and I got done with that at 2:30. I called my mom to have her come get me but she never answered. I called and called but no answer. I heard this big ambulance, firetruck race by my school, and I assumed the worst. I called my dad to pick me up, but he wasn't going to be leaving work for 30 minutes. Finally I got a ride from a friend. When I got home, my mom checked her phone and it said I had called but no ring, the weirdest was that the house phone said I never called even once! I swear I called 50 billion times! Perhaps I don't exist.....

Nerf Wars

There are those days when you just feel like shooting things. Whether it's a wall, a couch, a person... Well that's what a Nerf Gun is for. Those little dart things are great for shooting your little brother when he won't get out of your room and not leaving a mark. They hurt a little bit but won't do permanent damage (unless you hit them in the eye... then it's another story). Instead of writing an angry letter or email and "accidentally" send it, you can draw their face on a piece of paper (make it ugly if you're REALLY mad at them!) and tape it to a wall (or you can draw with washable marker on a mirror so the darts stick). When you're ready to fire, close your eyes and shoot until you run out of bullets. Then open your eyes, retrieve the bullets and repeat. Repeat this process until all anger is out.

Little Vikings

Today while my mother was making dinner, my two little siblings were regressing into prehistoric times. They grabbed a fork and spoon for each of them and sat at the table screaming, "We want food! We want food!" It was quite a sight. When my mom tried to videotape them, they changed their words and started turning red. My baby sister acted funny and shrunk under the table while my brother stuck the fork and spoon in his mouth.

Earlier today my little baby sister likes to talk about her "scary dreams" and was telling my mother all about a ghost. She said, "Mom, there was a ghost with one black eye, not two black eyes, um, but one black eye, ok? And he was VERY scary. He said BOO! and fell off the mountain. And then he died." Sometimes I wonder if she really knows what she is saying.

Jokes to Split Your Pants

Some days are just plain boring and you need something to make the day go along. My favorite way to humor myself is telling jokes. Here are some of the best I've heard.

Knock knock. Who's there? Panther. Panther who? Panther no panth I'm going thwimming!

Knock knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the tub I'm dwowning!

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrup-- MOO!!!!!!

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? *repeat a few times* Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Go up to someone in school, work, or home and look them in the eye and say: I love U. *pause* It's my favorite letter!

I did that I love U one to a friend and he thought I meant it. It took him a while to get it... It's a good thing we're friends. ;)

Humor Dictionary

Some of you may be wondering why I call my blog The Nutbucket. Well, one day my dad was telling my sister and I to brush our teeth or something, and at the end he called us nutbuckets and it just stuck. If I were to write a dictionary, that would be in it. Speaking of which, why don't I?

Dolphin squeak [dol-fin sqweek] -noun 1.A high-pitched laugh followed by short gasps for air.

Hugegantic [hyooj-gan-tik] -adj 1. A very huge, gigantic object.

Nutbucket [nuht-buhk-it] -noun 1. A name given to someone who appears to be slightly insane.

Well, maybe I'll come up with some more later, but for now, those are the few words that will boost your humor meter a bit.